Day 2: A Panda Walks Into A Bar....

Well... my first day of online dating was... interesting to say the least. Before I get to my plenty of fish messages and weird ass people, I must say, I got inside info that plenty of fish was not the place I should really be. okcupid.com was recommended by a dear friend who happened to find the love of her life on that site. Herego, i have now joined stupid cupid as well. Filling out this questionnaire was a little different than plenty of fish, and I like it better. It asked the important questions, like would you date someone outside your race or someone with kids? On an unrelated but kind of related note, I was informed today that I need to say no to someone with kids. Apparently I am too wild to be a mother right now. I can't say I disagree. Okay... back to this questionnaire. I am over it... I have now answered too many questions and I am getting bored. It did just ask me if spelling mistakes annoy me.... HOLY CRAP BALLS YES!!!! Spell check people!! It is a genius invention!!

Now on to the fun part.... after one day of being a member of plenty of fish I had over 40 messages from gentlemen callers who wanted to court me. Of those 40 I saw 2 potential.

First there is Kyle, user name tekyle. He is 24 and an aviation mechanic that lives in Leeds. His picture looks cute,and he has done well with keeping up the convo.... get ready girls, this may just be your first date.

Then there was Justin, the cute preppy looking frat boy engineer... bad news for me though, when I tried to reply to him, I accidentally deleted him. But after breaking down his profile, the girls at lunch and I decided that he would have been too straight laced for me and I would have been too eccentric for him. So goodbye Justin.

Let me just say a couple of things.... 1) this has made me realize how shallow I really am. I find myself laughing and thinking to myself "do you really think that I would be interested in you?" But really, am I going to go on a date with a guy I am not attracted to? No, I am not. You might but not me. 2) I REFUSE to respond to any guy who put that their body type is a BBW or however you word it for a man. Also, I REFUSE EVEN MORE to respond to any douche that posts a picture they have taken of themselves in a mirror. YOU ARE NOT HOT AND YOU ARE A LOSER!!! I also hate lol, but Courtney says I have to let that go for now. Finally, it is not okay to take pictures of your tattoos. I have tattoos, and I am all about them, but it screams douche monkey when you take a picture of your giant back tattoo. Especially when you are fat.

Okay moving on.... well... kind of... another thing that WILL NOT win me over is cheesy ass pick up lines. My profile says I like cheese, as in the kind you eat. You know, cheddar, swiss, mozzarella, that kind... not cheesy pick up lines. I dated a guy that was addicted to making up puns for everything and that is the one thing that drove me to dump him. A person can only handle hearing a pun made out of every Bama football players' name literally every time they make a play. I would like to now share with you the most ridiculous message I received today from a guy who truly thinks he is hot shit:

"A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a steak and a diet coke. When he finishes the waiter asks "How was everything sir?". The panda reaches into his fur, pulls put a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He gets up, starts to leave when the manager runs up and says "What are you doing?! You just shot my best waiter and you haven't paid your bill yet!"
"Do you know what I am?" asks the Panda
"yeah, you're a panda" says the manager
"That's right, so go look it up" says the panda and he walks out. Confused the manager goes into his office, pulls out a dictionary an looks up "panda"
Panda (noun) - black and white bear from asia. Eats shoots and leaves.

Yes, that was long to type out but hopefully it made you laugh. I'm Nick by the way. :)"

Then after no response he follows up with this message: 

"You not like my cheesy joke? I figured you would since you liked cheese. ;)"

Dear BhamNick78, LAME!!! Sincerely, Nikki


WOAH!!! I was going to share are few other lame messages that I got today, however something with a whole lot of, as Chelsea would say, cray cray just happened. Do not message me if you have ever pulled a knife on me or refer to yourself as the grim reaper. To those of you who know the story, yes, that just happened, and for those of you who don't just ask and I will share it. 


That is all for today. Join me tomorrow for day 3 of my adventures! I have also added the link to my stupid cupid profile at the top of the page. And enjoy a few pictures of the winners that love my smile. If you know any of these people, please do not get offended, just remember, I am shallow!! Peace out homies!!!!